Let me Deinfluence You

Me: Living

One of my favorite trends right now is “let me deinfluence you.” It’s this gentle rebellion against the pressure to have more, be more, do more. And honestly? It’s something we all need—especially as girls navigating the weird, wonderful mess of our twenties.

Because here’s the truth: comparison is loud. It sneaks into our feeds, our friend groups, our family conversations. It whispers things like “you’re behind,” “you should be further along by now,” “look what she has that you don’t.” And before you know it, you’re buried under a mountain of shoulds.

In our twenties, the questions come fast and heavy:

• What’s your five-year plan?

• When are you settling down?

• Are you chasing your dream job?

• Traveling the world?

• Building a life that’s Instagram-worthy?

And it’s exhausting.

Now that I’m in my mid-twenties (ew), I can confidently say: I’m not where I thought I’d be. Not even close.

I’m not married. I don’t have kids. I’m not even in a relationship—I’m chronically single and navigating what it means to be enough on my own.

I don’t have my dream car. In fact, I’m driving an old, beat-up one that makes weird sounds when I turn too fast.

I still have student loans. I don’t travel every month like I once swore I would. I don’t know exactly what I want to do with my career. Some days I feel wildly motivated, and other days I’m just proud I got out of bed.

But here’s what I do have: I have late-night drives with friends that make me feel alive.I have laughter that makes my abs hurt.I have deep conversations that penetrate my mind and stay with me long after they’re over.I have people surrounding me who want to see me be my best—and are willing to help me get there.I have quiet mornings with coffee and playlists that speak to my soul.I have little moments of growth that nobody sees but me.I have the freedom to explore, to make mistakes, to change my mind.I have a life that’s beautifully mine—even if it doesn’t look like the curated highlight reels I grew up believing were the goal.

What I’m learning is that comfort isn’t complacency. Resting doesn’t mean you’ve failed. And not knowing your next step doesn’t mean you’re lost—it just means you’re living.

So let me deinfluence you.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need the ring, the passport stamps, the six-figure job, or the Pinterest-perfect apartment to be worthy. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone—not even yourself.

Right now, in the in-between, in the messy middle—you are still becoming. And there's nothing more beautiful than that.